ENJOY FLORIDA’S ELECTIONS!!!
I propose that we stop looking at Florida’s
Elections as problems or something we should avoid but rather
as entertainment provided to us by Florida’s outdated election
laws. On the law books of many states there are laws that when
reviewed using today’s opinions or views now seem funny. Florida’s
elections laws have sections/requirements that cause out of
state newspaper readers to wonder how/why are Florida’s Elections
still so messed up.
Top Ten ways to Enjoy Florida’s Elections:
10. Call your friends in Florida and tell them you are emailing
them another joke you found about the 2000 election so they
stop calling you to ask you how the weather is when they really
know its 5 degrees and snowing outside your home. The simple
fact that your friends are connecting Florida’s 2000 election
to entertainment means Florida’s Elections are to be enjoyed
just like the December 1, 2005 Dave Letterman and Oprah Winfrey
family get together.
9. Go to onballot.com and look at the latest candidate to
Elections Entertaining and then do a search of (Dembinsky
Lafferty) and find how a newspaper columnist Enjoys Florida’s
8. Do a search (Party Assessment Florida) and read about how
the State of
Florida requires candidates to pay a party assessment just
to be on the ballot then they don’t even invite you to the
party after the debates or for that matter cut you up in the
debates. Enjoy Florida’s Elections!
7. Go to the site of the Florida Gubernatorial Debates during
August 2006 and/or read how entertaining the debates were
outside the debate center. There will be more Republican and
Democratic Candidates debating real issues outside the debate
center than inside.
6. Call a Candidate with the longest name and get a free bag
of popcorn to
Enjoy Florida’s Elections!! Visit onballot.com and go to the
hobby page and just enjoy looking at all those Gore/Lieberman
signs. If you are a Republican you may qualify for a sign
to provide real relief for your dog.
5. Go to Michigan and watch the Florida Election on television
this way you
eliminate local interference of Florida television stations.
In Michigan you could enjoy the vote totals without being
presented as a newcomer/fringe/or strange candidate then turn
to your Michigan friends and say GO BLUE!
4. Go to Disney World and from the top of the tree house look
for the past winning candidates and see if they can name the
former 43 Governors of Florida and the 67 counties before
they reach the bottom.
3. Call a friend in Ohio and ask them to visit onballot.com
and guess how
many votes Richard Paul Dembinsky will win during the September
Republican primary election. If they give you an email vote
to firstname.lastname@example.org who knows someone may
have a few sweet Florida oranges for the next Florida Election.
2. Build a snowman in front of the Orlando Newspaper Office
to demonstrate how the local newspaper freezes out all the little
known candidates. You probably are wondering if you need a permit
to build a snowman in the public right of way in Orlando? The
snow evidence will be gone before the newspaper realizes that
their freezing days are over. Okay it may cost a few extra dollars
to bring snow to Orlando in your cooler but you can be certain
one candidate would appreciate your support. (Bring snow during
March) Ohio snow should be Red and Michigan snow should be blue
and Pennsylvania snow will be White. The reason for demonstrating
by building a snow man in front of the Orlando newspaper office
is to show the newspaper that some people don’t like their approach
of freezing candidates out of the race by recommending that
the voters not give one single vote to the candidate (See October
31, 2004 article by O.S. Columnist Lafferty)
1. In Florida you can spend millions to go to the moon or millions
to go to
Tallahassee; both are a waste of millions when
the roads to the bank are filled with political leaders not
looking where they are driving the State.
Make Highway Safety the Issue so visitors from Ohio, Michigan,
Pennsylvania and Indiana can take a bag of Florida oranges home
ENJOY FLORIDA ELECTIONS!!!